The last fill in the blank of the year!

This week's blanks are appropriately themed for New Years, and it's been a while since I participated.  Head over to the little things we do to play along!

1. New Year's is (awesome/lame/other) usually slightly lame, at least for me.  There are definitely expectations that it should be a big deal, but it's always just been so-so.  Hopefully that will change this year!

2. Last New Year's Eve I had dinner with some friends and then went to downtown Austin with some other friends.  The past couple years kind of run together, but I remember that there were a lot of people and it was pretty fun!

3. My New Year's resolution is I have many that will be posted soon, but here's a preview: 
Graduate and get a job, put others before myself, continue to be consistent in reading Scripture, keep a workout schedule despite a lot of changes, and pray a lot.

4. The best way to spend New Year's Eve is surrounded by ones you love.

5. My prediction for an up-and-coming trend in 2011 is I'm not really up with fashion and all that but for me, I predict exhaustion from 40-hour weeks and lots of mornings I have trouble waking up.  But hopefully also grown up decisions and making friends!

6. This New Year's Eve I will be with friends out by Lake Travis listening to live music and ringing in the 2011.

7. A fresh start is (I read this quote today) "Your hope is not in the fresh start of a new year, but in the fresh starts and new beginnings purchased on the cross." But I do think the turn of a year can be a great time to start embracing that truth!


I've got some review/resolution posts coming up, but not until the new year so...

HAPPY 2011!!!! I hope each of you has your best year yet!

2010: A good year for music

This year, I re-fell in love with music...I go through phases where my appetite for new music (and old favorites) is insatiable.  When I find something I love, I will listen to it over and over.  Some of my absolute favorites put out new albums this year, and I also stumbled upon some new bands to love thanks to recommendations from friends, a little detective work, and some good fortune.   So here's my list, broken down into categories because I'm anal like that.

Disclaimer: Some of these didn't actually come out this year, but I'm including music I started listening to in 2010, regardless of when it was released.

Old favorites with great new stuff:
-Brooke Fraser (Flags, 2010)
-Arcade Fire (Suburbs, 2010)
-David Gray (Foundling, 2010)
-Band of Horses (Infinite Arms, 2010)
-Ray LaMontagne (God Willin' and the Creek Don't Rise, 2010)
-Switchfoot (Hello Hurricane, 2009)

Winner of this category: Brooke Fraser, but I love them all!

Bands I discovered this year:
-Fanfarlo (Reservoir, 2009)
-Local Natives (Gorilla Manor, 2010)
-Mumford & Sons (Sigh No More, 2010)
-Phoenix (Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, 2009)
-Needtobreathe (The Outisders, 2009)
-Freelance Whales (Weathervanes, 2009)
-Vampire Weekend (Contra, 2010)
-The Soldier Thread (Local Austin band!  In Spades, 2010)
-The Avett Brothers (I and Love and You, 2010)

Winner: Mumford & Sons, followed closely by Needtobreathe and Vampire Weekend

Singer/songwriters I love:
-Serena Ryder (Is it O.K., 2009)
-Andrew Belle (The Ladder, 2010)
-John Mark McMillan (The Medicine, 2010)
-Ben Rector (Into the Morning, 2010)
-David Ramirez (another Austin musician! American Soil, 2009)
-William Fitzsimmons (The Sparrow and the Crow, 2009)
-Jon Foreman (Limbs and Branches, 2008)
-Zach Williams (Story Time, 2009)

Winner: I can't choose.  This is my favorite category, and I love them all!

And just for kicks, albums from years past I can listen to over and over:
-I See Things Upside Down by Derek Webb (2004)
-Mmhmm by Relient K (2004)
-Amos Lee by Amos Lee (2005)
-The Beautiful Letdown by Switchfoot (2003)
-19 by Adele (2008)
-Albertine by Brooke Fraser (2008)
-O by Damien Rice (2003)
-Plans by Death Cab for Cutie (2005)
-Nothing Left to Lose by Mat Kearney (2006)
-Impossible Dream by Patty Griffin (2004)
-Psalms by Shane and Shane (2002)

And drumroll, please...my favorite album of the whole year is:

FLAGS by Brooke Fraser.  Was there really any doubt?  I listened almost exclusively to this record for over a month.  More than any album this year, it feels like a dear whose little quirks and character traits I have learned well.

Anticipated Albums of 2011:
Adele
Amos Lee
Courrier
Switchfoot
William Fitzsimmons

Ok friends, what's been your favorite music this year?

The Frawlidays

I'm back in Austin as of yesterday, but I have a bunch of random iphone pictures to share from my holiday in Houston!  

I hung out with my family, watched some good movies (The Town, The Fighter, the new Narnia, and many Christmas movies), had quality time with one of my besties and her family, ate out a lot, read, relaxed, etc.  It was lovely and just what I hoped it would be.  

Here are a few highlights:

I went light-looking with the Basham family, who is also like my second family.  I love them a lot.  We went to a really nice part of downtown Houston, and I'm pretty sure some of these houses spent thousands on decorating.  The pictures don't do it justice.

They actually hired someone to sit outside their house and play santa...he was pretty sassy too

I think this was when I called a family meeting, and now I don't even remember what it was about.  My dad is buried under Bailey the lap dog.

Made some sugar cookies with Allison.  This was also the night that one of our best friends from high school (and my Freshman roommate) got engaged!

On Christmas Eve, my parents and I drove to Austin for Austin Stone's Christmas Eve service...it was fun road tripping and laughing with them on the way there and back.  I also liked getting to show my parents around and introducing them to some of the people that have had a huge impact on me.  Plus it was just a beautiful, stirring time of worship with my parents and church family.  Definitely one of my favorite Stone services ever and a great cap to an incredible Advent season.

I read a cool quote on Twitter on Christmas Day that said this, "He has come, now live for His coming." Such a great reminder that Christmas is just one part of God's story of redemption!  He deserves our worship year-round.

My favorite gift I gave this Christmas was donating to charity:water in my parents' names!  In their honor, four more people will have clean water for 20 years.  I made a little ornament for their stocking...

Here's our tree on Christmas morning...

And some shots of my cute parents opening their gifts...

I got some great gifts.  The full set of Harry Potter books in paperback, some movies, a new watch, journal and books, cute clothes, and Photoshop Elements just to name a few.  I am so thankful!

Oh! And a sweet new guitar...it's a Little Martin and I love it.  It's smaller sized, which works well for me.  So pretty!

It truly would have been a great holiday without any of the gifts, but I am so grateful for some cool stuff that I will be able to put to good use.

So those are the high points...all in all, it was a great little vacation!  I am very blessed!

Cuteness Overload

I know Christmas is over for 2010, but oh. my. word.  This is the most precious telling of the Nativity I have ever seen.  This is worthy of watching all year round, and I think I just might.  Cute kids in costumes, adorable accents, and a great story...what more could you ask for?

Prepare yourself for the cuteness overload...are you ready?  Okay, now you may proceed.

My Ebenezer Year, Part 3

Ok, here's part three of this series.  I have one more post in mind to talk about some of my failures, so that should be fun! (read: sarcasm) There's no telling when that will actually happen though.

Alright, part tres (hang with me because it's kind of wordy)...

I dare say the even bigger factor for me in my internship and growing was the WHO.  I love my church home, that's no secret.  I loved Austin Stone from the very first service I ever went to in August of 2005.  God called me there immediately and has done huge things in my heart through the teaching and community there.

But to get into the trenches with the leadership and get to watch people who love Jesus and care about what He cares about, from the head pastors to the volunteers, has been life-changing.  So much of what I've learned has come from just watching and listening.  I saw that all of these people are sinners.  It's easy to put folks on a pedestal when you just see the operation on Sunday.  But they mess up, get frustrated, are too quick to speak sometimes, and get into conflict with one another.  But they LOVE Jesus, and want to honor Him through good and bad.  And they are so FUN!

To break it down a little, there's the larger Austin Stone staff and pastors that I interacted with around the office and in big meetings.  I really appreciate all of them, and I often found myself going into the office just to talk to people.  I could do most of my work on the computer and was probably more productive working from home, but it was a place I just wanted to be for the people and the laughs and the Gospel-centeredness of it all.

And then there's the FTCN staff.  It's a small staff of 7ish full-timers and then interns here and there.  These are the folks that I communicated with and saw daily.  When I first started, I admit I was intimidated and wondering what the heck I had to offer, but now I feel like part of the family.  I love these people and respect each of them so much.  They work hard, serve well, and laugh a lot along the way.  I can't even put into words how great working with them has been.  I'm going to miss seeing their faces on a daily basis, but they won't be able to totally get rid of me.

Here a few pictures of FTCN staff and "active" volunteers from CCDA in Chicago that I never posted (to break up my verbosity)...

And then the Stone interns...oh man.  We all serve in different ministries but are brought together by our common experience of being "the interns".  I love this group and the community I have had with them.  I've made some great friends, had incredible conversations, and loads of fun.  I'm inspired by the young leadership in the church and humbled to even be considered a part of it.  These men and women love God so much, and I see Him already equipping each person for a long life of ministry.  I hope they will still be my friends even when I'm not an intern :)

Like I said in the first post of this series, I experienced that doing ministry, serving a church body and a city, is hard because I'm a sinner.  My heart is willing but my flesh is weak and selfish.  Nothing good that I have done, am doing, or will do is to my own credit.  God has shown up and worked through me, because He is powerful enough to transcend my weaknesses.  I saw through the lives of the staff of the church that it is possible to pour yourself out for God and for others, but it's only truly by His grace and power.

The Arrival

via

Advent has been special for me this year.  The weight of why Christians celebrate Christmas has settled on me in a completely new way.  A few weeks ago at church, I was picturing the first Christmas in my mind, and like a time lapse film, I went from the manger through Christ's life, death, and resurrection, and finally to what I can only imagine Heaven will look like.  I was so overwhelmed by the Gospel in that moment and have been ever since.  I love the Christmas season for the weather (although it's been in 70's all week in Houston), the decorations, movies, gifts, and spirit of it all, but there is so much more.  It's just one piece of the greatest story ever told, and as I reflected on that, I wrote this down in my journal...

Christ was born
And came into the world like everyone else
Who has ever walked this Earth.

He was born
So that He could live as a man
Being tempted and tested
Like everyone else
But living perfectly and without sin,
Fully dependent on the Father

He was born
So that He grow up and call men and women
To leave all they had to follow Him.
To teach, preach, heal, and love
In a way that the world had not seen.

He was born
To turn the law upside down
And tell us to love others
As we love ourselves.

He was born
To be betrayed and denied by His friends.
To walk to the cross alone among men
And be the spotless, sacrificial Lamb,
On whom the sin of the entire world was placed.

He was born
To endure the shame of crucifixion,
The pain of death, and the wrath of His Father
So that man might not have to.

He was born
To be buried in a tomb.
But after three days,
He defeated death and lived again,
To walk once more with the friends who had rejected Him.

He was born
To give us His Spirit,
Teaching and reminding us of Him at all times
So that we could have peace in this life

He was born
So that He could return to Heaven,
Taking His place at the right hand of the Father
To be our perfect plea

He was born
For the glory of the Father
And the salvation of the world.

He was born
In fulfillment of the Scriptures
And the promises of God.
To show that He who called us
Is faithful and true.

He was born
And He lived
And He died,
And He rose to conquer death
And He will come again.

"In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born FOR YOU a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." [Luke 2:8-11]

Hallelujah and merry Christmas!

My Ebenezer Year, Part 2b

As a follow up to yesterday's post, I wanted to share a list that I made at the beginning of the summer of my "expectations" for my time working at Austin Stone.

From June 16, 2010:

-To learn what it looks like to live my life "for the city", for the renewal of the city and its people, and specifically to learn about God's heart for the Church's role in adoption. I want to have a heart for social justice that is rooted in God's heart for social justice, if that makes sense.
-To grow in ministry and learn more about the giftings that God has given me.
-Dying to self. I'm so selfish with my time and tied to schedules and to-do lists, and I'm praying God will break me of that (or at least begin that process which He definitely is already doing).
-Community with my coworkers and co-interns that goes beyond the summer.
-To get connected with a missional community to live life with.
-Overall to fall more in love with Christ and to get to know Him in deeper ways. I want to look back at this summer as a milestone in my walk with the Lord and spiritual growth, and I believe God is already doing some big things.

I completely forgot about this list until a few days ago, and just re-read it for the first time about 10 minutes ago.  It should sound pretty familiar based on my previous posts.  All I can say is God is GOOD.  He has answered every prayer and then some.  Hallelujah!

My Ebenezer Year, Part 2

If you are still reading, bless you.  Sorry for the delay...

Last week, I talked a little about the what and how of this year, but I want to zoom in on what was in my opinion, the biggest factor in my growth this year.  Well, the overarching answer is Jesus.  But He used my internship at Austin Stone and with The For the City Network to do that.

The only time I have ever done full-time ministry was in Africa.  And honestly, I was not good at it.  I tried to work in my own power, and we all know how that usually goes.  I did what I wanted to do and didn't do what I didn't want to do.  In this internship, I haven't even been full time, just about 10 hours of work a week, but I have learned more about doing ministry in 6 months than the other 22.5 years combined.  I learned that it is really hard and tiring and requires much dying to self.  Remember I love control and comfort, so I had to deal with a lot of discomfort and anxiety.  God exposed a lot of sin and idolatry, which hurts but is so good at the same time.

There are two sides to this.  WHAT I did had a huge impact on me and confirmed a lot of my passions and a couple giftings.  I kind of got to waltz in right as things that have been prayed over and planned for years was taking off.  We opened up a half-church/half-nonprofit building in the poorest neighborhood in Austin, and it is already taking off.  All glory to God.  We are not special or deserving of any of the praise for the way He is moving.

Renewal and restoration of Austin is the heartbeat of FTCN.  Social justice is a big buzz word in this city, which if you know me, you know that's what I love.  I am getting into a field that focuses on social justice, and it's really easy to get caught up thinking that what people do is going to fix the world's problems.  Working at FTCN, I was reminded over and over that it is God who is our hope.  He is more passionate about justice, the poor, orphans, and widows that I can fathom.  I am humbled to even be invited into that.

Here are a few things I was a part of:
-Advocating for orphan care in the Austin area
-Starting a network of social workers in the church
-Getting trained up to talk to other people about what God's doing in the city
-CCDA in Chicago
-The For the City Center grand opening
-Together for Adoption conference
-Serving kids in foster care at Christmas time
-Countless conversations about how to live intentionally "for the city"

Most of the time, I felt like I was getting way more than I was giving.  I guess that's why these are unpaid internships :)  In addition to all these things, I also got poured into by FTCN and Stone staff and my fellow interns.  But that gets me into my next post, the WHO.  This time I'm not telling you a posting day, but it's coming up soon!

Stalling...

This is my song and dance to distract you from the fact that I was supposed to have some posts up already to continue my Ebenezer series.  I'm working on them, pinky promise.  I'd rather delay in posting them to put in some extra effort.  The next will be up Monday!  And I mean it this time.

Until then, enjoy this interesting video.  I'm glad social networks weren't around when Jesus was born, but it is a pretty dang cool way to tell the story.



I'm back in Kingwood and excited for some down time.  I plan to:
-Read.
-Go for lots of walks and runs.
-Do some reflecting and "planning" for 2011.
-Pray!  God is definitely calling to have some serious times of prayer, and I'm excited about it.
-Watch movies.
-Catch up with friends.
-Have fun with my family.

Pretty standard, but these are all activities that I equate with rest.  Speaking of, I'm going to read and then sleep in my big, comfortable bed.  See y'all Monday!

My Ebenezer Year, Part 1

Now that school is over and I have 5 weeks to rest, I wanted to spend some posts recapping some of my big lessons from this year.  It has been one of the biggest periods of stretching and growth I have ever been through.  Last year was the necessary but painful demolition time, where I felt completely broken down, and this has been a rebuilding year.  Still hard in its own ways, but a period where I have seen God move in my own heart, in my life, and the lives of people around me in ridiculously cool ways.

I'm calling 2010 my ebenezer year, as in a memorial and testament to the faithfulness of God (from 1 Samuel 7:12).  I love the idea of ebenezers for my big milestones with God, and that's what I consider this year.

Let's start with some of the heart change.

Control.  Pride.  Comfort.  Those are some of my biggest daily struggles.  I want to do things at my convenience, in my own way, and on my own time table.  Some things that flow out of that: selfishness, insecurity, isolation, frustration, anger, anxiety, impatience, fear, doubt, insensitivity, hostility towards others, and judgment.  All things that I have seen (and still see but now I'm aware of it) in my life.

By the beginning of 2010, I wanted to change.  I had become completely caught in myself, and I was frustrated and tired.  I begged God to intervene in whatever way necessary to set me right.  What happened at the turn of the year is something I don't understand, can't explain, and can only credit to the supernatural hand of God.  I physically and mentally felt a change, a lifting of the burdens I had been carrying, that was the Holy Spirit, plain and simple.

Here are some of the biggest changes (and contributing factors) that I can see:

• Reading the Bible consistently.  I would say this is one of the most important changes I've made this year.  When the new year rolls around, I will be a few books of the Bible away from having read the entire thing.  Many nights it was an act of obedience to get into the Word, but as I have, God has grown a passion for Scripture that I've never had.  He has honored my obedience and perseverance in reading His Word, and even when I am distracted or exhausted, God is so patient with me.  I never ever want to go back to inconsistency in this area.

• Prayer.  This is the other huge area of change.  I read a book called A Praying Life that transformed the way I view the why and how of prayer.  I was too restrictive in what I prayed for and when.  I've learned to be really honest with God (reeeeally honest) and talk to Him all day, rather than putting rigid boundaries on prayer time.  It is so comforting to know that I can say and ask anything of Him, and trust that His love for me is constant and He will change my heart for things that are not His will.  

• Trusting in the sovereignty of God.  I was carrying around some regret and guilt, and the Lord freed me of so much of that.  I am starting to understand what it means that God is completely for my good, and that He will use my circumstances to reveal Himself for me.  Every single thing that happens in my life, big or small, is under His control and an opportunity to see experience God.

• Being able to admit to other people and myself that I don't have it all together, by the grace of God.  I spent a lot of my life trying to put on a perfect front to the world, because I didn't think anyone wanted to or should have to deal with my mess.  It's so hard for me to admit when I fail or when I'm hurt by someone, but I am learning (slowly) to own a lot of my junk, take responsibility, apologize, and ask for help.  

• Resting.  I have never kept a consistent Sabbath in my life, and while I'm still not awesome at it, I have seen the value and benefits of taking intentional time to stop and rest.  It is such a challenge for me to stop working when I have a running list of things to do.  But God took a Sabbath and demands that I do too.  It is so life-giving when I do it.

• Learning to cut myself some slack and accept who I am.  This has come out of getting little glimpses of how vast and deep and wide God's love for me is.  If Jesus loves and cherishes me for exactly who I am, then so should I.  I'm weird, I have quirks and a random sense of humor, but that's how God made me.  No more trying to be someone that I'm not.

So these are the changes I've seen in my individual life, little snapshots of areas where God has come in and started turning my heart.  But! There's a lot more (and more people) who have been involved in this year.  I will tell you about what I learned about doing ministry on Thursday.  Stay tuned!

My Christmas playlist

found

True confession: I find about 90% of Christmas music out there to be incredibly annoying.  I'm not one to get excited when radio stations start playing it nonstop.  It does the opposite of get me into the holiday spirit.  If you love it, I think that's great.  I'm not hating or judging.  This is just my personal opinion.

For the past couple years, I've been on the hunt for the good stuff.  Here's a good mixture of Advent-related stuff, the classics, and newer music.   Here's my playlist of some of the Christmas music that I love.

-"Linus & Lucy" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio (A Charlie Brown Christmas)
-"Winter song" by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson (The Hotel Cafe presents Winter Songs)
-"Deliver Us" by Andrew Peterson (Behold the Lamb of God)
-"Go Tell it on the Mountain" by James Taylor (James Taylor at Christmas)
-"Last Christmas" by Jimmy Eat World
-"O Come All Ye Faithful" by Nat King Cole (Christmas Carols)
-"All I Want for Christmas" by Dave Barnes (Very Merry Christmas...this just came out and it's awesome!)
-"Come Thou Long Expected Jesus" by Derek Webb (Your King Has Come)
-"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Ella Fitzgerald (Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas)
-"The First Noel/Mary Mary" by Sarah McLachlan (Wintersong)
-"White Christmas" by Bing Crosby (my favorite movie!)
-"Cool Yule" by Louis Armstrong
-"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" by Death Cab for Cutie (Maybe This Christmas Tree)
-"Holy Holy Holy" by Sufjan Stevens (Sufjan Stevens: Songs for Christmas)
-"Very Merry Christmas" by Dave Barnes (Very Merry Christmas)
-"Oh Holy Night" by Nat King Cole
-"Baby, It's Cold Outside" by James Taylor and Natalie Cole (James Taylor at Christmas)
-"River" by Joni Mitchell
-"O Come O Come Emmanuel" by Shane & Shane (Glory in the Highest)
-"Sister Winter" by Sufjan Stevens (Sufjan Stevens: Songs for Christmas)
-"What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" by Ella Fitzgerald (Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas)


This is just a sample of some my favorites...in my mind, you can never go wrong with Louis Armstron and Ella Fitzgerald.  Throw in some hymns and A Charlie Brown Christmas, and you're good to go.

Starting tomorrow for the next week or so, I will be publishing a few in-depth posts about what God has done in my life this year.  It's mainly for me to remember and reflect, but I'm excited to share it here too!  Come on back tomorrow for installment #1.

Austin friends, I need your help!

via...this reminds of the book, The Shack, which is kind of what I'm looking for

I'm feeling really led to do something, but I require a bit of assistance from my Austin friends (or just Texas friends in general).

I'm looking for a place to go for a few days to get quiet before the Lord, spend time with Him, and ask BIG things of Him on behalf of myself and my loved ones.

Here's what I'm thinking:

• Two or three days away from the bustling, urban environment where I can see the stars at night and enjoy creation.
• Very limited technology.  No computer or internet...maybe just my phone for music and in case of an emergency.
• Ample time for reflection, reading, worship, and prayer.
• Beginning of January, either a weekend or a couple days during the week.

What I really need from you, dear friends, is a place for this.  Do you know of anyone with a cabin/lakehouse/cottage/etc. in central Texas that they would be willing to let a well-behaved grad student stay in for a few days?  I'll bring all my own supplies, I just need a roof over my head.

I would love to do this the second week of January (the week of the 10th) right before I start my internship.  I am hungry for an extended period of uninterrupted time with Jesus, especially to prepare myself for the semester.  

Also, if anyone else is also interested in doing something like this, let's talk.  I'd love to have some company (safety in numbers), meaning lots of our own separate time with God but having someone(s) there to debrief and process with.  I'm not going to put too many restrictions on what it will look like, but I feel like this could be an awesome thing (and a fulfillment of one of my 25 before 25 goals!).

So...feedback?  I'd love to hear about any leads on a place to stay, suggestions/experiences doing something like this, etc. even if you're not in the Austin area! 

Making a list & checking it twice

More like checking it a hundred times!

So last time I showed you a picture of a bin full of toys.  The past few weeks of my life have focused on handling the logistics of matching up kids in the foster care system with Austin Stoners to get those kiddos some seriously awesome Christmas gifts.  God's hand has been all over this, and everything has gone really smoothly.  

Today was a bit crazy trying to sort gifts for the two different foster care agencies and making sure everything was where it was supposed to be, but it all worked out! (praise God.)  And tonight we hosted a gift-wrapping to get everything wrapped and ready for delivery next week.  The turnout was awesome, and we had delicious snacks and festive music to get everyone in the holiday spirit.  The volunteers cranked it out in less than an hour.  What a great night.  Here a few snapshots...

That's me focusing really hard on something.

It is such a privilege to be a part of this.  I'm humbled by it actually.  I can't wait for next week's Christmas party where the kids will get to open up their gifts.  Just one of the reasons I love working at this church and the For the City Network (and why I'll miss it terribly next semester).

Still alive

This happens every December...I'm zapped from 30 posts in 30 days so I just disappear from the blog.  I have some ideas for substantial blogs that will happen soon, but not before Friday.  I have a big paper due then and a busy week trying to juggle writing that with some other important things.  I will try not to let this place get too quiet.

Here are my two weapons against illness when everyone around me seems to be coming down with something:

Emergen-c...

And Jesus.

(I realize I could have taken a picture of just about anything to represent Jesus because He's everywhere and everything, but my bible happened to be sitting next to me.)

A few other things making me happy:

This came in the mail for me today as an aid in my Advent studies.

Collection of writings about Advent by some great writers

My church's Advent theme this year is "Hallelujah, what a Savior!", and the sermon yesterday was over the meaning of the word Hallelujah.  It was incredible.  The weight of Advent and Christmas and Heaven and the connection of it all definitely hit me.  So cool.

And this...

This is a bin full of toys, just one of about 8 that were filled to the brim by the end of yesterday.  These toys were picked out for children in foster care and yesterday was collection day.  I could do an entire post on what a privilege it has been to be a part of this and how God's hand has been on all of it.  I will summarize by saying it has been a bigger blessing to me personally than I ever could have imagined.  More on it all soon.  

Bear with me this week as I try to finish school well, and then hopefully lots of blogging to come.  

A word from Mr. Lewis

From The Great Divorce:

“Will you come with me to the mountains? It will hurt at first, until your feet are hardened. Reality is harsh to the feet of shadows. But will you come?”

I just cried for 10 minutes.

True story.  Like a baby.  It was most definitely not a pretty kind of crying either.  Two words: snot situation.  I'm still wiping my nose and calming down.  Bittersweet tears of joy mixed with sadness.

I will tell you why.

Today is World AIDS Day.  I have seen people dying of AIDS with my own two eyes.  People in the final hours of their lives.  I've held little ones who are HIV positive and who have lost part or all of their families to the disease.  You can't experience that and not be changed.  So I was already thinking about them today.

And then I went here.


If you look at the section labeled World AIDS Day, you will see stories, video, and photos of the very people that I knew and loved while I was in South Africa.  I know I've talked about them a lot.  But it's because I love them and my heart is forever tied to them.  So seeing videos and pictures of the kids and adults that I miss daily broke me.

Sweet Sammy

I miss sitting in those chairs and coloring with my littles.

Winnie Mbata, I miss you.

I probably needed a good cry.  It's been a hard week in a lot of ways, but whoa, that came out of nowhere.  I know I said posting would be sparse, but this needs to be shared.  Please please go check that website out.  You might just understand me and my heart a little better in doing so.  God used those people to change me in so many ways.

Gail and Tabitha Ministries are hope bearers in a very dark place.  And those kids are going to grow up (and live long, healthy lives) to testify to the grace of Jesus.

I am grateful for them.
I rejoice over them.
I love them deeply.